Jive Turkeys: A Hott Mess March to the Finals

Against all odds, the Jive Turkeys have somehow bowled their way into the prestigious league finals—and now they stand victorious as your Spring Season Champions. In terms of prestige, you’ve got the UEFA Champions League Finals at #1, and a close #2, you’ve got the Sports & Social Club’s bowling league; coed, spring-Miami/downtown.

This crew, made up of four sprightly grey-haired men and three dazzlingly young(er) women—who incidentally joined the team under the impression they were signing up for a wine, cheese & charcuterie club—quickly became the talk of the lanes.

While the men mostly drank and watched playoff basketball, the women did all of the actual work.
Valerie, the pin-slicing sawbones, carved up the lanes with surgical precision while teetering dangerously close to a full-blown God complex.
Jessica, the cold-blooded poker ace, had the lanes on tilt—after each frame she was holding the nuts.
And Karina, the free-spirited Dominicana with boho flair and hips that do lie, brought her chaotic brilliance to the lanes like she was dancing through Carnival.

The men? Far less interesting. One of them, I think, has gout. Another is several years overdue for a prostate exam. The remaining two will either die rich or be indicted for tax fraud.

Anyway, the point is: the Jive Turkeys are your new champions—chaotic, questionable, and unforgettable.